Thursday, August 29, 2013

Fuck Pat Robertson, Part 4,354,876

Now Pay Robertson made some incoherent accusation that people are wearing some sort is Emporer Ming AIDS rings that have razors and give you AIDS if you shake hands?

When my Grandfather started talking like that we got him a special nurse. We didn't put him on TV for everyone to laugh about. Sheesh, I hate that guy and even I think it's time to stop broadcasting his pathetic slide into Alzheimer's. Dementia is sad.

Ok, I'm pretty flexible...

Nicaraguan Crab Sandwich?  How?  Don't get me wrong, I'd try. But I don't see how it's possible without ending up in traction. And I do yoga. 

My day has odd moments.

Tell Them About The Dream...

I've heard Dr. King's speech dozens of times in my life. It makes me cry every time. I can't think of any current speakers that have that effect.

Gay rights needs someone that dynamic and unifying.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

ConStar by Rocky Mountain Mike

ConStar by Rocky Mountain Mike

Watch "Quadruple Take Masterclass" on YouTube

Falling Apart

I think my warranty ran out.  Chances are I just need a refit and new shoes.  What it feels like is I would be better off cutting off my legs at the knee.  This will be my life until Spring, where I alter what I can wear for my entire day for what I do for 30 to 60 minutes at the end of it.  Random limping, ice packs, spasms. I don't like to define myself by a singular aspect of my personality or hobby. I'm not "nothing but a..." by any means. But this hobby defines me from summer to spring, like it or not. It changes what I wear, what I eat, my schedule.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Da Rules, Cause My Pussy Is A Drama Free Zone

Why do people always push for the one thing you're not offering?  I don't lie to or cheat on my husband. I don't need to. If I fuck you, he'll know. He'll probably watch, participate, take pictures, cheer. But at the very minimum, he'll know.

So thanks for offering discretion. I'll pass.  I don't need to meet your family and co-workers. I don't do outside relationships.  Fuck, cum, go away.  But when someone goes all discretion crazy, I feel the angry wife bullseye on my back and that's some shit I avoid like the plague.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Scientists announced the discovery of a new species today.  Don't worry Goreans, I'm sure your subspecies will be discovered any day now.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Dear Representative King:

I don't have access to 75 pounds of pot.  Can I get cantaloupe legs by hauling something else through the desert, or does it have to be marijuana?  I ask because I have a couple of marathons coming up and cantaloupe calves would really come in handy. Also, I'm not Mexican, or even Hispanic. Is that going to be a problem?  Can only people of Mexican descent get that cantaloupe thing? 

Actually, Representative King may not be able to understand this question. After all, he asked a woman if she understands English mid-conversation.  Since a wet sack of hammers should have ascertained by that point in the conversation that she was fluent, Representative King is clearly less intelligent than a wet sack of hammers.

Maybe I should hose down some hammers and ask. 

What's frightening is not that King is the kind of douche bag that will inevitably squirt something racist if you squeeze it. There are lots of those. Pick a Wal-Mart. Any Wal-Mart. You'll find one. What's frightening is that the ignorant douche population of our country is large enough to necessitate a representative of their own. Someone with the kind of empty piggy bank of a head that they don't know the body dimensions is Popeye are inaccurate.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Mental Notes

1.  I should have watched The West Wing when it was originally on.

2.  Netflix and Amazon Prime are slowly making our satellite obsolete.

3.  BBC America will make me keep my satellite anyway because, as much as I adore Matt Smith, when he first replaced David Tennant I didn't think I could take to such a young Doctor, so I am now more open minded about the whole regeneration thing.  Because Matt Smith is cool now.

4.  The little bit of garlic I added to the asparagus and shallot saute for the last rissoto really enhanced the flavor.  Duh!  Kind of obvious as flavor profiles go.

5.  True Blood sucks we are watched a reality television game show instead.  That is a serious level of suck.

6. Fuck Pat Robertson.  No, he hasn't done anything lately.  There hasn't been a tragedy he can exploit recently.  But sometimes it just needs to be said.  Fuck Pat Robertson.

7.  I love anal.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Ariel Castro... what a bag of shit. And he should be treated accordingly. Set on fire until someone stomps him out.