Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Collar Evolution and Me
In terms of your "average" M/s relationship (as much as the term average can ever apply to intimate relationships) I have been with my Master a very long time. (9 yearsish) I have known him even longer than that.
Over the course of that time, we have changed a great deal, not only as individuals but as a pair. In the beginning, I was reticent to accept changes and new experiences. It was an extreme change in my life. When my previous history did have any tinge of power dynamic to it, I was generally the one on top.The biggest challenge I faced was simply relaxing. There was a great deal of fear that if I were to let go of the reins, I was in danger. It took a long time to realize that when I let go I did not necessarily fall.
This evolution still goes on and on. At first, it took a rigidity to enslavement for me to function. Over time, we trimmed the fat.
The first thing that really had to go was the dogmatic approach we started with. Over time it became clear that living by a set of "rules" someone else made up was not going to work with us. Even worse, further participation in certain groups of philosophies was destructive.
Master started with a foundation which, by the time we were moving forward, had suffered massive deterioration. He was no longer actively reading or participating in any discussions anymore, but following his lead I was reading what this group had to say and observing its interactions. The huge gap between where he had started and where it was caused serious confusion on my part. When he sat down and read a bit of what was being discussed in the present, that was the end of that branch for both of us once and for all.
From there things were much clearer, much easier, much simpler. I can't be "a" slave. I flourish as his slave. It stopped being about ritual and started being more about emotion. That is a hard place to go for people who either don't know each other very well or have any room for doubt in their relationship. And it took us a very long time to get there. I do not have that emotional connection to a community, a lifestyle or a philosophy. It causes dissonance. My life with him is musical when tuned correctly.
Moving past the what and to the why opened an entire new set of doors and we both discovered my "streak" of submissiveness went far deeper than we ever would have expected. As did my enthusiasm for compliance. He can muck about quite effectively in my head and even when I understand very clearly the manipulation in my thinking at play in certain types of training it works remarkably well.
I am far more relaxed doing things I never would have dreamed of than I was with simple basic tasks when I started off. Its exciting, thrilling, without being frightening.
Over the course of that time, we have changed a great deal, not only as individuals but as a pair. In the beginning, I was reticent to accept changes and new experiences. It was an extreme change in my life. When my previous history did have any tinge of power dynamic to it, I was generally the one on top.The biggest challenge I faced was simply relaxing. There was a great deal of fear that if I were to let go of the reins, I was in danger. It took a long time to realize that when I let go I did not necessarily fall.
This evolution still goes on and on. At first, it took a rigidity to enslavement for me to function. Over time, we trimmed the fat.
The first thing that really had to go was the dogmatic approach we started with. Over time it became clear that living by a set of "rules" someone else made up was not going to work with us. Even worse, further participation in certain groups of philosophies was destructive.
Master started with a foundation which, by the time we were moving forward, had suffered massive deterioration. He was no longer actively reading or participating in any discussions anymore, but following his lead I was reading what this group had to say and observing its interactions. The huge gap between where he had started and where it was caused serious confusion on my part. When he sat down and read a bit of what was being discussed in the present, that was the end of that branch for both of us once and for all.
From there things were much clearer, much easier, much simpler. I can't be "a" slave. I flourish as his slave. It stopped being about ritual and started being more about emotion. That is a hard place to go for people who either don't know each other very well or have any room for doubt in their relationship. And it took us a very long time to get there. I do not have that emotional connection to a community, a lifestyle or a philosophy. It causes dissonance. My life with him is musical when tuned correctly.
Moving past the what and to the why opened an entire new set of doors and we both discovered my "streak" of submissiveness went far deeper than we ever would have expected. As did my enthusiasm for compliance. He can muck about quite effectively in my head and even when I understand very clearly the manipulation in my thinking at play in certain types of training it works remarkably well.
I am far more relaxed doing things I never would have dreamed of than I was with simple basic tasks when I started off. Its exciting, thrilling, without being frightening.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Monday, February 11, 2013
Friday, February 8, 2013
Non Murdering Mormon Slut
There is a lot of news coverage about this woman on trial for murder about how she converted and they had sex. (Gasp, clutch the pearls.) She testified that he fucked her in the ass right after he baptised her. That must be a mormon thing because the same thing happened with me. (Well it wasn't anal. And I didn't stab the gyy 29 times, slash his throat and shoot him in the head.) He just fucked me in my little white dress.
Did I mention the month I was the worst Mormon ever? At least I'm guessing driving to temple with a cigarette in one hand and a Mt. Dew in the other dripping missionary cum qualifies me for the top ten.
It seems baptisms make Mormons frisky.
Which makes me wonder... that whole baptising the dead thing?
Did I mention the month I was the worst Mormon ever? At least I'm guessing driving to temple with a cigarette in one hand and a Mt. Dew in the other dripping missionary cum qualifies me for the top ten.
It seems baptisms make Mormons frisky.
Which makes me wonder... that whole baptising the dead thing?
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
The Beauty of a Bad Day
It wasn't a great day. Not end of the world awful, just a lot of little annoying things going wrong, one after another.
Its days like this that make having a wonderful husband the best thing in the world. Just that hug at the end makes it possible to trudge through the rest of the crapapaloza.
He even loves me in my "today has sucked" fuck ugly nightgown. Even with my socks still on.
I mean the day to day insatiable cock loving fuck slut, that's easy to love having around.
But when the comfy old nightgown and socks version who just wants to watch Castle on the DVR still gets the love... well, that can't be beat.
Its days like this that make having a wonderful husband the best thing in the world. Just that hug at the end makes it possible to trudge through the rest of the crapapaloza.
He even loves me in my "today has sucked" fuck ugly nightgown. Even with my socks still on.
I mean the day to day insatiable cock loving fuck slut, that's easy to love having around.
But when the comfy old nightgown and socks version who just wants to watch Castle on the DVR still gets the love... well, that can't be beat.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Pussy Whipped Male Supremacist
Random clicking can lead to some pretty funny stuff. Random e-mails even funnier.
Its a bit hard to pull off a persona of male supremacist if you start off announcing that you require discretion so your wife doesn't find out. What person is going to take your whole list of protocols and demands that follow your announcement that you, who are a male supremacist, are afraid of your wife?
But thanks for the "Nice tits" comment anyway.
Its a bit hard to pull off a persona of male supremacist if you start off announcing that you require discretion so your wife doesn't find out. What person is going to take your whole list of protocols and demands that follow your announcement that you, who are a male supremacist, are afraid of your wife?
But thanks for the "Nice tits" comment anyway.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Lube? Where we're going we don't need lube.
A bit sore this morning. But it was well worth it.
You know how if you put pressure on your eyes you see a sort of color pattern thing from the pressure?
I came so hard I saw that while looking up at the ceiling, drooling and incapable of speech, that was what I was seeing.
Did I mention Master is unbelievably good in bed?
You know how if you put pressure on your eyes you see a sort of color pattern thing from the pressure?
I came so hard I saw that while looking up at the ceiling, drooling and incapable of speech, that was what I was seeing.
Did I mention Master is unbelievably good in bed?
Friday, February 1, 2013
If You...
...Are an adult and you're not in the military, don't walk around in head to toe camouflage. You don't look tough, you look like an idiot.
...Don't want your car scratched, don't park in two spots. Its like a "fuck my car up" magnet.
...Can't spell, don't understand grammar and generally write like a first grader in your own native language, chances are what you say isn't worth reading anyway. Its not just a "grammar nazi" thing. People too intellectually lazy to learn to communicate coherently don't stop there on the intellectually lazy thing.
...Don't watch football you get a nicely quiet Sunday.
...Are going to FLARF say hi
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