Fist Fuck Fun

Oh my God the things that man does to me.
And yesterday took it to the wrist three times. 
I'm a happy little puppet.

Yum

So far this weekend we have broken out the pizza stone and the pasta machine.  If you've never tried either, do yourself a favor and do so.

SERIOUSLY??????

More "developments" about a football players fake online girlfriend?
Fuck you, media, you suck.
And they call me whore.

Natural Order

Very often I see "natural order" cited with no regard for both physical and more importantly social evolution. 
Humans are pack animals. We form social groups to survive. 
So one can not claim to both follow the "natural order" and wholly disregard social pressures as irrelevant.
They aren't.
This is the 21st century. Social evolution is no less natural than any other.  Those that are unable to adapt to social evolution are at a disadvantage within the world we actually live in. Waxing sentimental for an imagined version of the social mores of a time that has passed or a world that has never existed in the first place doesn't change the world we actually inhabit. It just renders you inferior for the time and place you inhabit.
Unevolved is not a compliment.

seriously?

Did I just hear a major news network cover a football players fake online girlfriend all day?
Headdesk

Stop Whining About the Second Amendment

Dear Anti Gun People:
The Constitution is clear. The right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. Stop whining, we aren't going to ban guns in the U.S. We are the United States not the U.K. 
Dear Pro Gun People:
The same Amendment also says "well regulated". Stop whining whenever the subject of regulating guns comes up. Your right can be regulated.  Red Dawn isn't a documentary.
I never thought I'd miss Lindsey Lohan news, but this subject sure being out the whiners and nutjobs.

I Suck and my Husband Is Dripping with Pussy

Perverts - its not what you think.

I seem unable to keep up with my blog.  I suck.  I lose the internet.

I don't even post pictures of my cats.  Well, my husband's cats.  There is the one he had when we got together.  He is that cat's favorite person in the universe.  Mommy is tolerated as a dim second.

And the little stray kitten that comes running over to my husband the second he walks out the door.  He has tried not to encourage her, it makes our cat all jealous.  But she is at his side whenever possible, twirling through his legs and purring.

Its wrong of me to laugh, right?

Jarring

Must remember... you're not normal. Stop scaring the straights.
See I wrote that down. Now I'll remember.

Good Days and Bad Days

Any chronic pain condition is going to have bad days. I'm having a few in a row.  When it gets bad in the neck I have to concentrate to see, which sucks. 
I love the age we live in because I can talk to text on days like this. I can automate a few things.  My grandfather was an athlete and crippled with this by 50. My future is brighter than it would be without doctors and trainers and medicines he couldn't dream of.  My choices are more than drugged unconscious or agony. I'm still moving. 
I will not be stopped. I have the choice. And I am grateful thorough the pain because tomorrow might be different.
For many, its not.

No Surrender

The new season of one of my favorite shows started last night.   I love the Biggest Loser.  I can relate.  I was, at one point, big enough to easily qualify for the show. 

Normally this is where I should say I have struggled with my weight my whole life.  That isn't strictly true.  I was lazy when I was young and my laziness fucked up my body and NOW I am struggling with fixing that.  My early life lackadaisical attitude toward fitness has made it much more difficult to tackle now, but not impossible.  Harder is not an excuse to just give up. 

The weight I carried when I was younger has thrown off my hormones now.  Its also caused my arthritis to proceed at the speed of light.  So I don't have a great deal of sympathy for the series of "my hormones" and "my physical limitations" as excuses for obesity.  Been there, done that, there are things anyone can do to help themselves. 

It just takes the strength and discipline to actually get off your ass and do them.

Awesome... but which one?

Bad Dragon

I want one of everything.  Bring on the tentacle sex baby!

Least Successful New Year Resolution

I don't usually do Resolutions.  If there is some shit in my life I need to change, I change it then rather than waiting for an arbitrary calendar point.

I do, however, tend to remember I actually have a blog around this time of year. 

I tend to forget it approximately 4 days later.  But hey, this could be the magic year where I don't flake.  I start taking pictures of things.  I stop forgetting to blog. Could be.

Ok it probably isn't.

So lets talk about sex.

I find that less and less often these days I'm very picky about what kind of sex we have. Oral, anal, vaginal, its all good.  This may be because, lucky me, I'm pretty much gonna cum no matter what.

Foreplay.  By the time we get to that point, I am so worked up that a butterfly landing in the rainforest is going to do the trick.  My husband is a spectacular lover, and I am a very VERY lucky woman.

You Got Hit By The Karma Stick

I often tell my best friend that it seems that the Gods really want to change my mind about being an atheist.  Because fate/karma/whatnot does a number on those that seek to harm me.  It seems unfair in light of how rarely I'm harmed.  
Lets just say there is a high percentage of junkiedom, life failure and death amoungst my detractors. And no, it's nothing I do directly. I'm just a good shield for that 3 fold rule. If it was something I could aim I'd pick more worthy targets than the hodge podge of idiots, losers and assholes flailing sadly in the wake of my pique.
But sometimes well sometimes its just funny. For a very long time, I had my own personal boggieman. An abusive ex who stalked my for years. I had nightmares about him. Until I saw him recently.
To be honest I couldn't have been anywhere safer than next to my husband. But that wasn't even why. He was a sad broken grey bald old man hunched over an old pink Nintendo. He was about as threatening as your average fern. And slightly less decorative.
Wow amazing what being a physically and mentally abusive pathological liar can do to someone's karma. Yikes.
But i am so very very not afraid anymore. In not even terribly amused,  it was THAT pathetic. I'm not really happy he's broken. I don't care enough. I am, however relieved to set aside the burden of that fear.
Zombies? Fear defeated.  Ex boggieman?  Fear defeated.

Taking Faking It Too Far

This is not about attacking bi sexual or poly people.  My best friend for over 20 years is both.  Bi and poly I get.
I don't get people pretending to be one or the other to attract a partner. It makes no sense to dangle bait you are going to have to live with. Great, you faked being bi and poly. Now you get to keep faking it and fake being happy.  Worth it?
Because I have never heard anyone rave about what a great idea it is to lie about a core personality aspect to get into a relationship. It sounds pretty awful to me and I just don't get it.
And the total relationship fail always seems to come as a big old shock. Well DUH! Maybe next time be honest. Be ok with who you really are so you don't think you have to false it to be "enough" and you will be for someone who is looking for who you really are. Most people have some redeeming value. Not all people do. If you don't have any other redeeming value, pretending to be bi and poly isn't enough long term to cover that.

Musical

I went to see Les Miserables today.  It was pretty well done.  The casting of Javert and Cosette were a bit weak and the Thenardiers was just schlocky, but otherwise it was a pretty solid cast.  Considering editing is possible in film where it is not on stage, there is absolutely no excuse for Russell Crowe being flat in Javert's suicide.  I did find it a bit odd that they excluded Dog Eats Dog and Beggars At The Feast.  If I recall from that horrible Sweeny Todd abortion a few years ago, it was probably best not to let Madame Thenardia squawk her way into destroying yet another flick.

Loved that they included Colm Wilkinson (THE Jean Valjean) as the priest in this film.   Its funny, I didn't recognize his face at first but the second he opened his mouth I know exactly why he seemed so familiar.  Eponine and Gavroche were perfect.   As always, the final song made me cry. 

It has a nice beat and your can dance to it... I give it a 9.