Brains!!!!!!

So Master is sending me to the theater with our friend Hawkke on Friday to see a zombie musical. I can't wait.  He's fun to hang out with and the play sounds hilarious.

Why A Slave Speaking in 3rd Person Is Almost Always The Sign Of A Clueless Master/Trainer

A slave's use of third person speech says a lot. The thing it says most clearly is that whoever is teaching them has no real clue what they are doing. (It also usually says whoever is training them garnered their slave training methods from poorly written fiction.) Many will tell you that "slave speak" will make a slave more conscious of their place. This shows a gross misunderstanding of what illeism is and does. (If you are going to argue against my point but had to look that word up, you just made my point.)

Psychologically speaking, illeism is an indication of narcissism. Forcing a slave to be an illeist increases narcissism. A curious training choice indeed.

Unless you read it in a fiction novel and never bothered to research it further.

It does work. Perhaps not in the way intended. In practice it is notable that third person slaves are quite impressed with themselves and their "depth" of slavery. You can't blame the slave. Their narcissism has been deliberately magnified through the ignorance of the person training them.

When posting this elsewhere, someone responded to say that narcissism is good because it synonymous with pride.  Also, they used this training method without ever having heard the term illeist.  In other words... yes, as stated - they proved my point.  They a) had no done no actual research prior to engaging in behavior modification and b) have no idea of the difference between narcissism and pride.  Also, there was a whole clutch the pearls gasping "you might be judging people and you can't do that" theme. 

Which goes to show... if you ever point out people doing something stupid, they will accommodate you by providing a living example.  

Goddless

I was recently reading a post by a slave who was not religious complaining that her religious Master forced her to pray. As an atheist, I can't wrap my mind around the idea of having a theist Master. I can't surrender complete control to someone who believes in the supernatural. I can't put my fate in the hands of an adult who relies on an invisable friend. It would always be there in my head - he has an imaginary friend and thinks they're in charge. Its a matter of judgment.

But very telling to me is how many religious people responded offended that she wasn't faking it, because that's what you're expected to do at reigious services. When I attended mass as a child, I always suspected it was predicated on a common understanding that we were collectively faking it. That suspicion is now confirmed. I just do not understand why. If you know its bull, why do it?

Off and Running

Off?  I went too far off my diet for too long and gained some weight as a result.  So he has me back on a stricter calorie restriction (including clearing things through him first and accounting for every calorie) and increased my gym trips (which really fell off).  I have a daily 1,000 calorie deficit to meet. 

And running again.  On the treadmill now.  Its too hot this time of year and I am very sensitive to the heat.  Even if I wait for twilight, I run the risk of overheating in the summer.  As much as I prefer the asphalt, I admit the air conditioning has its draw.  It also means I can hop in the pool when I am done to cool down.

Hitting the gym 5 - 6 days a week also means a bit more advanced menu planning.  Which is fine, because the shift in my calorie deficit means more menu planning anyway.  (I need to feed me little enough to hit my gap, and my kids enough to keep them growing and healthy.)

Its easier this time around... knowing I can do it because I already have.  And having FAR less ground to cover than the first time.  

Really, its just a matter of practice.

Wha...?

If I had a dollar for every knuckle dragging male supremacist or Gorean with half my IQ, half my income and 3 times my BMI that told me being female made me his "inferior"...

Look, if I can out think, out earn and out run/out last and generally kick the crap out of you, the whole "natural order" means your are inferior to me here in the 21st century U.S. 

And no... if you are one of those inferior men and you think the mere existance of men that aren't inferior somehow carries over and counts for you too that isn't the "natural order" you're promoting... its Marxism. If you're taking from the ability of others to meet your need, you're not Gorean, YOU'RE A MARXIST.  

I'm not saying I'm "better" by the way. I don't believe in gender supremacy. Mostly because, as you can see, its ridiculous. I'm applying the societal standards I can think of just off the top of my head. Far too often the "natural order" is wielded like a club by those who would rank as "inferior" if it were the standard applied because, ironically, they're too stupid to understand how it actually works.

Playing Doctor

There are things I will get on the internet. Medical advice isn't one of them. I am ceaselessly amazed by people tossing caution to the wind and following whatever is trending on twitter.

I have doctors I like. I tend to run stuff by them.  I ask questions. I read. Then I ask more questions. Web MD is a start for questions to ask my doctor.

For some reason, this approach confuses many people. I'm not one to read something online and decide I have it. Or worse... start doing/taking things. I want to know if an herbal supplement will interact with my birth control. I want to know if gluten free will mess up my hormones. I want to ask the doctors that know me, my history and my preferences these things, rather than random strangers online and unvetted sources.

People research the things they do to themseves less than I researched my lip gloss. It amazes me.

Trueblood

They may as well actually buy a motorcycle and a shark tank.

Stepping away from the books was a mistake.  The books are enjoyable.

While I will admit the fact that the all 6 pack having all shirtless male cast trend going on this year is fun, the writing sucks more than the vampires this season.

Watching each week is starting to feel like a chore.

Mental Notes

1.  An antlion is the larval stage of a flying insect.

2.  Firefly was cancelled in the first season and Jersey Shore is in its 4th season, proving that the human race has outlived its usefulness.

3. Hulk Hogan is hosting a "midget wrestling" show?  Did I mention that whole human race outliving its usefulness thing?

4.  Richard O'Brien currently voices the father on Phineas and Ferb on Disney.

5.  This sentence in response to one of my posts "I am much more smarter then that." wins today's irony award. 

6.  I escaped the DMV successfully.

I Don't Need Limits, I Have Standards

The seemingly endless debate. People seem to have a strange need to tell others "You have limits!  If your Master were to (insert insane and grossly improbable scenario involving a chainsaw here) you would say no.

I never sat down and reviewed a list of "limits" like that with my owner. My standards are high enough that I would never pursue a collar from a man I thought might be a serial killer. If you're stupid enough to surrender yourself to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre guy, I'm all for you getting your head cutoff because it really isn't doing you any good. Limits don't stop maniacs. If your entire safety contingency plan consists of a set of useless magic words, you're an idiot and again, I'm all for you getting beheaded. The world needs less morons, we are all better off without you.

This "you have to have limits because I do" practice of tossing out outrageous examples is a distraction used to cover their own mundane "limits".  No haircuts, no poly, no anal, blah blah blah. The ones that sound petty to those who don't share them.

I do not need to create an arbitrary list just to assauge someone else's feelings of inferiority. If you feel less"slavelike" just because I have turned over control of things you still keep from your own Master - that's your problem. I'm not playing the "you wouldnt ..." game. Yes. I would.

Am I worried?  Nope.

Standards.

I picked a good man and gave myself to him. It works much better than picking a man who would be a complete shit unless I told him he isn't allowed to be.

The fact that my owner doesn't hack bits off me before sending me to rob a bank has zero to do with me. Its because he is a good man all on his own.

I don't need to raise a Master, thanks. 

Murder in Aruba

I'm not blonde or anything, but still I am thinking Aruba may be coming off the list of possible vacation spots I submit to Master.

I can't really comment on the case.  I haven't seen much about it.

But... WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT SUSPECTS TOUPEE?  It looks like indoor/outdoor carpeting stapled to his head.  And of course, the shot they show over and over on the news is the guy walking down the street adjusting his dead squirrel... ummm hair piece?

They often refer to toupees as "hair appliances".  That guy would look better if he just stapled a toaster to his head.

Bad rugs will never cease to amaze me.  How do you look at yourself in the mirror with a welcome mat stapled to your head and think its a good look?  How?!

And living in South Florida, land of the old, you see them a lot.  Men that are so old that they are seemingly unaware that their piece from 15 years ago no longer fits.  So sometimes you catch site of someone with an inch of white wirey hair, an inch of bare skin, and a smooth jet black rug.

I should start taking pictures. Like bird watchers. Keep a "awful rug" journal.  Launch a "People of Bad Toupees" website.

Nah...  too lazy.

I Hate the DMV

I made an appointment at the DMV because I am changing my name to Master's.  Yes, I know I got married a month and a half ago.  That's how speedy these folks are.  After going through two different check-in people who looked at my paperwork, I sat in the stinky overflowing hot lobby for several hours before being called into a second line.  Where I waited for another hour, because of the 11 stations, 2 were open and they were averaging 1 customer every 20 minutes.  It wasn't until I was most of the way through my name change process they informed me that they couldn't do it and I would have to come back because I had to do it with Social Security and wait 24 hours after.

After 2 people went through my papers when I got there.

In large part, people hate the DMV because they are lazy and bad at their job.  It would have helped if anywhere on the DMV website that I read through before I went there (hey, why not, I had 6 weeks!) it had mentioned you had to do your SS first.  SS only took me half an hour without an appointment.  I could have done that on my lunch hour a week ago.

I suspect their understaffing was due, in large part, to Florida's dumbass lump of governor's drug testing scam.  By some coincidence, the governor who decided to drug test all the State employees just also happens to own drug testing companies.

And the citizens get to pay for and suffer from his blind selfish greed.

Thanks, Governor Scott.  Next election season, I will remember my wasted day at the DMV. And I will warn/remind every voter I can,

Complete

As I was making the morning commute to the sounds of app games and children's songs and babble it occurred to me how empty I would be without them. I adore Master, but a collar can't fulfill the need for motherhood.

I am happy with our life.

It is complete.

Ok, Seriously, WTF Is Wrong With These Parents?

Why are children in the U.S. dying for a fucking game?  Did you people miss ALL the reports about people dropping like flies in this heat wave?  Why aren't we arresting eveyone involved for child endangerment and, where applicable, manslaughter?  For football?  You would let your child die for a GAME?  Wow.

I would be ok with marching every single one of these useless bag of shit moron assholes into the school gym and shooting them through the head in front of the other parents.

Oh, and for those that think my disagreeing with them or even thinking they are morons - this is me angry. Dead kids make me angry. THIS kind of stupid, the kid killing sort, does make me angry. Stupid people who don't directly effect me or kill anyone do not make angry.  That is derision. (Stupid people can never understand the difference. Cause they're stupid, duh!)

But criminally kid killing stupid for a game - that's genuine anger.

Slave Car vs Slave Bus

I often see owning a slave compared to owning a car. An apt analogy for one-on-one M/s relationships.  Does that means slaves who are required to refer to everyone is a public bus?

Crossroads

So here I sit at the crossroads.

Literally. Master sent me out to fetch something.

And there is someone selling roses (to which I'm very allergic) and a guy with a "Repent & believe in Jesus" sign.

If I had to let one or the other in the car, I think I  would opt for wheezing and hives.

Brand New Addiction

I may as well graft my phone onto my body at this point. A 4g droid with unlimited data.

I'm posting from my blogger app.

And now I have Spotify Premium.

Or as I call it - crack.

A song pops into my head and a few keystrokes later I'm listening to it. I love the age we live in.

I'm having a geekgasm.

Not The Kinda Blown I Was Hoping For...

So Happy Birthday Master!  Ya remember when you said something about getting blown?

How does our house getting hit by a tornado sound?

We are all safe and ok.  Some minor damage, some clean-up, I have to deal with my homeowner's insurance now.  (Ugh.)

Some of the surrounding neighborhoods took heavy damage.  It could be much worse.

Dear Grocery Store Employees:

I'm not sure if you're familiar with these little wires hanging out of my ears, but they're called headphones. The fact that I have them in, coupled with the fact that I'm looking at my phone and totally ignoring you is actually not an invitation to follow me flailing at me until I pause what I'm doing to remove my headphones just so I can assure you that I don't need your assistance. Perhaps if you and the other 8 coworkers who went out of their way to repeatedly disrupt me concentrated on actually finishing stocking the shelves you were assigned, I would have been able to walk out with what I came in for, rather than empty handed. Which at least made it easier to rewind what I was trying to listen to.

Thanks.